


your warmth is the closest to reality

by youngjaemins



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Na Jaemin is Whipped, nohyuck if u squint, renjun being dense af, renjun is scared of a lot of things apparently, renmin, we need renmin in our lives you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 10:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18408854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjaemins/pseuds/youngjaemins
Summary: Months ago, Renjun would have been fine sleeping together with Jaemin on the same bed. Hushed words that only they can hear until both of them fall asleep, cuddled next to each other with their grip too tight as if they’re afraid that either of them might slip away and leave in the morning.But, it’s becoming really hard for Renjun to calm the erratic beating of his heart when Jaemin, out of habit, kisses the top of his head before dozing off.





	your warmth is the closest to reality

**Author's Note:**

> the way i would d** for renmin is unimaginable. jk anyway pls enjoy this mess of a fic bc i just wanted some renmin since sm seems to hate my brotp :D

Renjun prefers to be alone rather than having a roommate.

It’s because he gets a decent amount of sleep by having a single bed and having it all by himself. If Renjun’s being honest, he’s actually a coward. Just like the time when he was definitely sure there was a ghost living in his room because of that glass water bottle incident but in reality, Jisung was actually the culprit, making him look like a fool for being paranoid for whole 3 months over nothing. He would’ve been furious if it weren’t for Jisung who admitted that he was scared to get reprimanded so, he thought that keeping it a secret would be a great idea. Although, Renjun wouldn’t really scold Jisung to the point where he’ll make him cry – he isn’t like that. He’ll just get slightly pissed and move on.

As much as Renjun loves aliens and the universe way too much, and as much as he loves to indulge himself into conspiracy theories – he’s not going to deny that he gets scared easily. And sometimes he regrets being all alone in his room when his cowardice tries to creep at him at ungodly hours. It’s also times like those when he wishes he has someone. Someone who will talk to him until he falls asleep or someone who will stay by his side

Someone like Na Jaemin.

Na Jaemin who has been his best friend ever since they went out to Garosu-gil and ate pork belly together despite their language barrier. Na Jaemin who finds it enjoyable talking about everything and nonsensical things to Renjun with the lights off. Na Jaemin who cooks food for everyone and who takes good care of the younger ones without complaints. Na Jaemin who is very hardworking and talented. Na Jaemin who is kind and treats everybody the same.

Which is why Renjun doesn’t question when Jaemin decided to place a gentle kiss on the top of his head for the first time they shared a bed together. He knows how affectionate Jaemin can get, so it’s not supposed to be a shocker anymore. Besides, kissing the top of his head out of habit doesn’t have an effect on him.

Until now, that is.

Jeno and Jaemin suggested they should watch a horror movie because playing games on their phones is getting boring already. Jisung lights up at the mention of a movie night, in which he decided to call Chenle so he can invite him over. While a reluctant Renjun just weakly agrees to their plan because he has no control over his friends. He can just close his eyes the entire duration of the movie, or he can just divert his attention on his phone. Or maybe, he can just suck it up because none of it is real anyway.

That’s what he thought.

As the screen dissolves into pitch black, a small sentence slowly appears that definitely doesn’t make Renjun comfortable. _Based on a true story_ , he reads as a heavy sigh leaves his lips. He knew. He certainly knew that one way or another he wouldn’t get any sleep after this, he shouldn’t have agreed to watch it in the first place.

Jisung and Chenle were ushered by Jeno into their rooms, leaving Jaemin and Renjun alone in the dimly lit living room. Renjun fumbles with the hem of his shirt, tugging at the loose strings as he tries to build up the courage and ask Jaemin to accompany him to bed again. Which is very ridiculous to be embarrassed when Jaemin is his best friend and they’ve practically shared the same bed countless of times already.

He was so immersed in formulating the right words and planning out what he should do that he doesn’t even notice Jaemin sitting beside him on the couch. He lightly taps Renjun’s shoulder, letting him acknowledge his presence but it seems like the older boy was too deep into his thoughts, he ended up flinching on his seat. “Hey, scaredy cat.”

“Jaemin,” Renjun forces a weak smile, struggling to stop his voice from quivering.

“What’s wrong?” Jaemin flashes a worried glance at him, caressing his back as a sort of comfort.

Renjun uses all the courage he can muster, yet refusing to sneak a glance at Jaemin or he might back out from this. “Will you sleep with me tonight?”

There’s a heavy silence that follows, Renjun’s question hanging between them. “But, it’s okay if you don’t want to. I know we’ve been sharing my bed frequently now and it’s already becoming a burden. Just forget what I just asked, don’t mind me.”

Minutes pass by quietly as Renjun keeps his head low tucked between his knees, a blush slowly ebbs its way into Renjun’s cheeks. He glances up and sees Jaemin sitting cross legged beside him, his body turning to face him directly, staring at him with a soft expression on his face. “Okay.”

To say that Renjun is taken aback would be an understatement. He furiously blinks his eyes, waiting for Jaemin to take back his words but he only stares at Renjun with a small smile on his lips. This shouldn’t even be surprising for him; he just doesn’t really understand why he’s been fidgeting with this when he clearly knows Jaemin would agree.

Jaemin would immediately agree if it’s him.

“I’ll sleep beside you tonight, Injun.”

 

They’re both lying down on Renjun’s bed, facing each other. Renjun lets his eyes gaze on Jaemin’s face, admiring the way the moon illuminates through the thin curtains as it perfectly hits his face. It doesn’t really faze him when Jaemin is also staring back at him, fingers running through his hair. “You don’t always have to do this, you know.”

Jaemin hums, a soft smile tugging on his lips as he slowly leans in to place a gentle kiss on Renjun’s head. “But I want to, Injun. I don’t mind sleeping next to you.”

He can’t even stop himself from eliciting a small chuckle, feeling a little bit stupid for getting all too worked up for absolutely nothing. He scoots closer, resting his head on Jaemin’s shoulder while Jaemin’s cheek is pressed against the side of Renjun's head.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I just,” Renjun bites his lip to prevent himself from giggling. He doesn’t really understand what’s wrong with him, he isn’t also sure why he’s feeling so elated all of a sudden, and he doesn’t even know why his heart is fluttering against his chest and why every single thing he’s feeling right now makes him warm and fuzzy – something that’s undeniably foreign for him. “I got really anxious while asking you to sleep with me. It’s really stupid.”

Jaemin lets out a chortle at Renjun’s sudden confession. He lightly caress his hand on Renjun’s side, earning a contented sigh to leave his lips. “No, you’re not stupid. It’s cute. You’re cute.”

“I’m not,” Renjun mumbles trying to sound like he’s annoyed but really, the corners of his lips curl upward to form a smile. “Let’s go to sleep, Jaemin.”

“Goodnight, Injun.” Jaemin whispers, once again pressing a light kiss on top of Renjun’s head.

Renjun lets his eyes close, listening to Jaemin’s breathing slowly getting steady. “Goodnight, Jaemin.”

 

 

 

Sleeping next to each other and waking up with their limbs tangled with one another seem like the most natural thing to occur for Jaemin and Renjun. And it’s amusing because Renjun loves the way Jaemin holds him tightly in his arms, although it never really makes sense why it makes him feel safe and secure. But, he’s happy – way too happy to be exact because he has Jaemin. Renjun also loves spending time just staring at Jaemin’s face, admiring his long eyelashes and the way he flutters his eyes open slowly, his deep brown eyes fixating on him. How Jaemin’s face instantly lights up upon seeing Renjun already looking at him. His room never looked so bright and it makes him want to stay in his bed for a long time with Jaemin. 

It didn’t take long enough for the Dream members to notice Jaemin spending most of his nights at Renjun’s room. Jisung even told him to just move out and share the room with him, but the older boy declined. To which Renjun is thankful for because he still wants the room for himself most of the day, and he finds it much sweeter whenever Jaemin knocks on his door every night, slipping inside his room and under the covers like he was meant to be there.

And of course, getting interrogated is inevitable.

It was Jeno who asked first in a nonchalant manner, a question that he didn’t know how to answer. “What’s going on between you and Jaemin?”

He arches his eyebrow, tilting his head in confusion. “Nothing? I mean, he’s just accompanying me to sleep.”

“Really?” Jeno scoffs, not believing what his friend just said. “You don’t feel anything towards him?”

A long beat of silence passes between them. Renjun’s answer gets stuck in his throat as he tries to ignore the way his heart hammering in panic or in fear, he doesn’t really know. He isn’t really sure if he can give an answer to Jeno, let alone figure his feelings out in an instant.

“No,” Renjun says without much confidence in his voice. “I don’t think so.”

Jeno eyes him skeptically before he shrugs and lets go of the topic. “Okay, whatever you say.”

Just then, Jaemin enters the kitchen as Jisung trails behind him like an excited puppy. Renjun shifts uncomfortably upon seeing Jaemin out of nowhere when they were just talking about him minutes ago while Jeno snickers at how obvious his friend could be. Jaemin gives them a questioning look as if wanting to know what’s going on, but before he could ask them Jisung tugs Jaemin’s shirt, pleading for him to quickly cook a meal for him because he’s very hungry.

Renjun is quite thankful for not being questioned by Jaemin because he doesn’t really have a good alibi to tell, a fake story to make just so he could avoid talking about his feelings. Just so he could ignore the growing affection he has towards the younger boy because he thinks it’s better not to deal with the feelings he’s still uncertain of.

“You okay?” Jaemin whispers, standing closer next to Renjun so that neither Jeno nor Jisung would hear them. Renjun felt a tug on his heart but he chooses to ignore it, he can’t let his unsolved feelings get the best of him. So Renjun just meekly nods, averting his gaze towards Jeno and Jisung who are giving them meaningful looks.

He wants to run away.

Jaemin’s ability to read him so effortlessly and quickly scares him. He doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing to be so transparent, to be bare when it comes to Jaemin. He’s scared at how Jaemin might have got him figured out, if he senses the teasing glances the Dream members are throwing at them. If he’s aware of the erratic beating of Renjun’s heart against his chest whenever they sleep together. Just thinking about it all makes him want to run and hide.

So that’s what he did.

He makes up a lame excuse, dashing out of the kitchen room that seems suffocating for Renjun. There’s already a nagging feeling settling inside his chest as if taunting him, and no matter how hard he tries not to make a big deal out of it – it’s hard. He sighs, landing on his bed as he rolls over forcing himself to stop from overthinking. It’s about his feelings that’s on the line after all and he wants to spare himself from getting hurt.

And if that means hiding his feelings, then maybe it would be easier.

 

 

 

Renjun didn’t avoid Jaemin like the plague.

That would be plain stupid and hard. Plain stupid because his friendship with Jaemin is much more important than his feelings and he’d rather suffer dealing with this newly found attraction towards his best friend than to lose him. And it’s hard because they’re best friends and they’re in the same group and they live in the same dorm. It would be way too obvious if he started ignoring him, and he can’t just do that. Not to Jaemin, at least.

So he continued being himself in front of Jaemin. He tried his best not to be awkward and stiff whenever they’re together, he still welcomes Jaemin in his room, and they still continued sleeping together on the same bed. But what he can’t completely control is the erratic beating of his heart that would absolutely give Jaemin the hint – and letting him know about it is the least thing that he wants.

And as if sleeping together wasn’t enough to cause a whirlwind of emotion seeping into Renjun’s enitre body, Jaemin had other plans. It was on a Saturday night that he barged into Renjun’s room, a huge smile plastered on his face. There was excitement evident on his eyes as he placed a blue paper bag on top of Renjun’s bed.

“What’s that?” Renjun asked, eyeing the bag placed neatly on the foot of his bed.

Jaemin smiled, urging Renjun to get the paper bag and open it. “I saw that at the mall and it reminded me of you.”

Reluctantly, Renjun picked up the paper bag and when he opened it, there was a packet of glow in the dark stars that were wall stickers. “I reminded you of the stars?”

The question was blunt and out of the blue that Jaemin came unprepared. There was a faint blush on his cheeks and Renjun was sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. What he wasn’t sure was that if he was blushing out of embarrassment or something else.

“Yeah,” Jaemin coughed, rubbing his nape sheepishly. “You once told me that you find solace in stars, so I bought you those since I can’t get real stars for you.”

Renjun’s gaze flickered between the gift and Jaemin – he feared that his heart might explode any minute from now as the words he want to say die down on his throat leaving him speechless for a moment too long.

“Is…is it too much? I can get it back if you don’t like it…” Jaemin mumbled, feeling a bit hesitant at Renjun’s silence.

“No!” Renjun shouted, shaking his head abruptly. “I’m just really thankful for this. Thank you, Jaem. This means so much to me.”

He let out a wholehearted laugh, loving the glint of pure joy in Renjun’s eyes as he stared at the stars for too long. “Should we put this on the ceiling together?”

“Okay, I’d love that.”

 

That was a week ago, and Renjun is on his bed staring at the stars on his ceiling that took more than hours to put because Jaemin was being his playful self. It’s been a week but it still creates chaos in Renjun’s heart, and hearing him say that he’d give him the stars if he could didn’t help either. Coming into terms with his feelings for the younger wasn’t difficult as he thought, but hiding it and acting like all the sweet gestures doesn’t affect him are a different story.

He doesn’t have any idea when he started liking Jaemin more than what was necessary.

 

 

 

Due to Jaemin’s packed schedules – shooting for a drama and variety shows, he’s barely at the dorm and when he comes back they’re already tucked in their beds. Renjun can’t also help but be disappointed when Jaemin stopped sleeping in his room, always ending up in his own room and he’d be gone in the morning before Renjun could even get a glimpse of him.

It’s dumb, really.

He can’t blame Jaemin, he can’t get mad at him. Although, he’s mostly irritated at himself for getting too attached to Jaemin. For getting jealous when Jaemin’s attention diverted into something else – something obviously more important than Renjun. It’s dumb because he let himself get used to Jaemin’s presence and now he feels like a sore loser for feeling this way.

He’s lost count of how many hours he has spent at the practice room and busying himself because he has no time to mope around, and he has no time to bother Jaemin. It’s been a habit that Renjun leaves at midday as he goes to the company and does vocal practices and dance practices until he exhausts himself, until he doesn’t notice the time that it’s already midnight and their manager has to drag him home or else he’ll harm himself from overworking.

But tonight is different because as soon as he steps inside the dorm, Jeno is sitting on the couch at the living room, his arms are crossed and there’s an exasperated look on his face.

“Can we talk?” He sounds tired, but the annoyed look on his face is no longer there but it’s replaced by worry. “But freshen up first, I’ll just go to your room.”

Renjun could only nod in response, going straight to his room to take a quick shower and most probably mentally prepare himself for getting questioned by Jeno. He should’ve seen this one coming though. Jeno is more perceptive than what the other members give him credit for, and being close with him and with the way he’s acting so differently he probably knows something is wrong.

When he leaves the bathroom, he sees Jeno sitting on his bed with a cup of tea on his hands. He pats on the empty space beside him, telling him to sit down and the older boy follows through. “Here, it’s Jasmine tea.”

“Thank you.” Renjun holds it tightly, loving how the warmness of the tea spreads through his hands.

“So, what’s going on?” Jeno doesn’t go around the bush, his voice is laced with worry and Renjun can’t help but feel bad. “And don’t think about lying to me, Injun.”

Renjun sighs. There are lots of things that he wants to say, wants to admit but apparently, they’re at the tip of his tongue and he can’t utter them out. He’s afraid to lay it all out because it seems surreal that what he truly feels for his best friend is really _there_ and not just living inside of him.

“It’s about Jaemin isn’t it?” Renjun breath hitches before he timidly nods. “Are you purposely doing this just to distract yourself?” Even if Jeno’s voice is soft, the question was still like an arrow that pierced right through him.

“Yeah.” Renjun mumbles, tracing his finger on the brim of his cup. “I’m happy for him, really. It’s just…I guess I got used to him being there and I know he’s not literally gone, but somehow it feels just like that.”

“Renjun,” Jeno calls him very gently and when he looks up he sees a smile on Jeno’s lips. “Do you like him?”

There’s no point in lying anymore.

“Yeah, Jen. I do.”

 

 

  
Renjun doesn’t know how it happened or how his talk with Jeno ended up with them cuddling together on his bed. He’s not comfortable as Jaemin, but he’s still thankful for him because he needed someone to at least lean on at times when the only person he goes to is also the root cause of his problem.

Jeno stirs in his sleep, loosening his grip on Renjun to which he finds it as a way to escape from his tight embrace. He guesses that Jeno won’t wake up until 2 in the afternoon, so he decides to leave him to sleep more. When he leaves his room, he can hear rustling in the kitchen and Jisung yelling something about food.

“Hyung, when you weren’t here to make breakfast all we ate was ramen!” Jisung grumbles.

He hears a soft chuckle – and he stops in his track. That laugh is awfully familiar. “Really?”

“I’m just glad you're back, hyung. I missed the dishes you cook for us.”

“You didn’t miss me?” There’s a playful tone in his voice, but there’s a hint of seriousness in his question.

“Of course I did.” Jisung answers almost immediately, but then he says something that made Renjun’s heart hammer in his chest so hard. “But someone else missed you more than we all did.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb, hyung. You know I’m talking about Renjun hyung.” Jisung teases, his eyes twinkling with a childish mirth.

“Did he, really?” He sounds slightly hopeful. “Miss me?”

_Of course, you idiot._ He thinks before appearing out of a sudden inside the kitchen making Jisung choke on his rice and Jaemin frantically picking up the spatula that he almost dropped. He has to curl his fists into a ball just to calm himself down despite his heartbeat going out of control.

“Good morning,” Renjun greets, a little bit of hesitant. “You don’t have any shooting today?”

Jaemin shakes his head, turning his attention back into the dish he’s cooking. “We’re already done with everything.”

Renjun only hums in response. The air inside the kitchen had suddenly become so awkward and stifling. Truthfully speaking, he hasn’t seen Jaemin for approximately 6 days – not that it really mattered, but that’s how long he’s been sulking around like a lost puppy. And now that Jaemin’s back, he didn’t really thought about it that much.

It didn’t really occur to him that not having Jaemin by his side would intensify the way he feels about him – absence makes the heart grow fonder, as what they say. And it didn’t really help when his feelings are skyrocketing and Renjun’s already tired trying to control his suppressed feelings.

Jisung must have sensed the tension between them so he excuses himself, saying that he has to wake up Jeno which is an utter lie because he isn’t the type of person to wake his friends up and it’s obviously his way to leave just for them to talk alone.

But, Renjun isn’t as dumb as Jisung thinks.

“I’ll…I have to shower now.”

Okay, maybe he needs to work on with his excuses from now on since it really lacks credibility.

“Can we talk later, Injun?” Jaemin’s body is facing Renjun yet his eyes are just staring down at the ceramic floor, unwilling to look up at Renjun who is also staring at him, eyes filled with panic and curiosity.

“What’s there to talk about, Jaem?”

Jaemin sighs dejectedly, “Nothing. Forget about it.”

He turns around and faces the stove once again and Renjun is left to stare at the back of Jaemin’s head. When it was plain obvious that Jaemin isn’t going to talk to him, he leaves the kitchen with an empty stomach and an empty heart.

 

 

 

Renjun was inside his room when he heard a loud commotion in the living room – he would have opted to ignore the noises if it weren’t for the fact that those voices are way too familiar for him that he immediately rushes to the living room just in time to see Donnghyuck being hugged by Jeno and Jaemin.

"Renjun!” Donghyuck squeals, waving his hand frantically to his other friend. “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Hyuck.” He mumbles, giving him a subtle hug. He scans on Donghyuck’s bandaged leg, noticing that it doesn’t look severe as before. “How’s your leg?”

“They’re healing quite fast, but the doctor said I still can’t exert too much force on it.” He explains. Jeno offers to help him sit comfortably on the couch, his bandaged leg propped on top of the table. Jaemin and Renjun are watching Jeno as he showers Donghyuck with too much care and attention – he doesn’t act that way before and Renjun muses because this is a different side of Jeno. He probably won’t let this thing pass without questioning him later.

“Hyungs! Let’s watch a movie!” Chenle pipes in, coming back from the kitchen with two bowls of popcorn on his hands while behind him is Jisung who is carrying a bottle of Coke.

“Since I’m your guest this afternoon, I’m going to pick the movies we’re going to watch.”

 

Renjun should’ve known how big of a fan Donghyuck is when it comes to films. They haven’t really noticed that it’s already 7 in the evening and all of them are famished. Halfway through their discussion as to what to order for their dinner, Donghyuck suggests to watch a horror movie before going to sleep. Renjun bites his tongue, not wanting to protest in the midst of them agreeing about the said plan.

“That’s settled then.” Donghyuck says with a finality in his voice.

“Jaemin hyung, can Chenle sleep in your bed tonight?” Jisung quietly asks, a hopeful smile playing on his lips.

And everyone knows how soft Jaemin gets when it’s about Jisung so he agrees, almost forgetting about the fact that he has nowhere else to sleep. “Wait, Jen, can I sleep in that extra bed in your room?”

Jeno’s eyes flicker between Jaemin and Donghyuck as panic rises in his chest. Luckily, Donghyuck answers for him. “Sorry, Jaem. I’m sleeping in Jeno’s room for tonight.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I can just sleep on the couch.” Jaemin can’t help the small frown form on his lips, but he feigns a nonchalant shrug.

“But you can sleep together with Renjun hyung, though? Isn’t that what you always do?” Jisung’s question both caught them off guard. Donghyuck’s eyebrow arches as he watches Jaemin straightens up in his seat, refusing to look at Renjun who also stiffened and looked away from their taunting stares.

“Jisung’s right. We’re all friends here – it’d be weird if someone sleeps on the couch.” Jeno adds, supporting what Jisung is trying to claim. He would have agreed with their suggestion because feelings aside, he wouldn’t let Jaemin suffer from having neck and back pains sleeping on a tiny couch when they can share his bed like what they used to – well if it weren’t for Jaemin speaking up suddenly that their attention focuses on him.

“No, really. I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

Renjun releases a shaky breath when Jaemin stares at him with a blank expression on his face. He’s never been good at reading people’s mind, never been good at guessing what people are trying to convey using their facial expression – and with the way that Jaemin is looking at him intensely, he doesn’t know what to make out of it.

 

One by one, each of them are slowly going inside their rooms as the tiredness seeps into their bones, lulling them to sleep. Jeno, unlike the rest of them, visited Renjun in his room before going to bed. For a moment, Renjun misunderstands and thought that Jeno would be sleeping with him instead, but he clarifies that he wants some time alone with Donghyuck since he hasn’t seen him for a long time.

“This is getting suspicious, what’s up with you two?” Renjun is obviously peering at him and honestly, Jeno can’t blame his friend from being curious when he’s been acting kind of strange since this afternoon.

“Hyuck and I…we’re kind of together. Something like boyfriends? Yeah, something like that.” Jeno answers and Renjun seems to be taken aback. However, it didn’t took long enough before he softens, a tad happy for his two best friends. He squeals, gripping Jeno’s shoulders tightly, shaking him and asking him how and when the hell it happened. “We just talked about it, actually. Honestly, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this is that communication really helps you sort your mess out. So please, don’t be hesitant to talk to Jaemin.”

Renjun only sighs because he’s most definitely going to talk to Jaemin. Not because Jeno told him to but because he finally realized some things. Things that seemed so difficult to accept before but now he’s slowly acknowledged the sad reality that even though Jaemin might not like him the way he does, then it’s okay. Although it may sting a bit, but he’s going to be fine in the long run since their friendship matters the most.

And he needs to stop running away from his problems, instead he needs to fix it on his own accord because denying it and hiding won’t help him in any way – his problems won’t solve on its own if he keeps doing it, they’re all just gonna pile up until he gets drowned by all of the problems he’s too coward to face.

 

Renjun peeks through wall watching Jaemin as he furiously taps on his phone, probably a new game he’s addicted on – Renjun doesn’t really know. He unconsciously wipes his clammy palms on his sweatpants, gripping on the fabric too tight as his heart beats loudly in his ears. Anxiety runs over through his body, making him shut his eyes too tight so he can calm himself down.

“What are you doing there, Renjun?” He must have been standing behind the wall with his eyes closed for too long that he didn’t notice Jaemin already looking at him, thousands of emotions passing right through his face that Renjun couldn’t decipher. “Do you need something?”

Renjun nervously nods, unsure of what his talk with Jaemin would end up. “I need to talk to you.”

Jaemin just stares at him for little bit longer before he ushers him towards the couch. They sit in a few feet apart, Jaemin settling back into the couch while Renjun remained sitting up straight, hands rubbing together agitatedly on his lap. “What do you want to talk about?”

Renjun was silent for a while, his brows are furrowed as he forces himself to let out all the pent up feelings he’s been bottling inside him, he wants to lay it all out to Jaemin – honest and sincere. He glances at Jaemin who is looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to articulate his words and maybe, talk through whatever mess they put themselves into.

“I’m sorry,”

“What exactly are you sorry for?” Jaemin asks, completely unaware of what Renjun is talking about.

“For a lot of things, but mostly I’m sorry if I’m about to ruin our friendship, Jaem.” He whispers, his throat clogging up with emotions, his heart thundering in his chest. He’s close to his point, he’s definitely making progress but he can’t make it out yet.

“What are you trying to say, Renjun?”

“I like you, Jaemin.” He chokes out the words and then he looks up at the ceiling, forcing himself not to cry but absolutely fails as hot tears spill from his eyes, he has to put the heels of his hand on to his eyes to stop the tears from falling. “I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable knowing that, but I just want to let you know because I can’t lie to you anymore.”

“You,” Jaemin says in a hushed tone that Renjun has to look at him in order to make sure that he’s not just talking gibberishly. “You like me?”

“Yeah, I like you.”

The second time he admitted it in front of Jaemin was much clearer and more intense than the first time. And since he stopped crying and his nervousness seemed to fade away, it just dawned to him that they’re now only surrounded with silence.

Jaemin tried so hard to keep a straight face, but he can’t help the smile that’s threatening to form on his lips. So he let’s his face form into a smile, and he looks brighter than ever and Renjun can’t help but love the way happiness suits on Jaemin’s face better. He didn’t really get an exact answer from Jaemin, what he got instead is a soft kiss on his lips that’s barely even there.

“What? Why? What was that for?” Renjun fumbles with the words to ask, feeling a bit dumbfounded for the sudden boldness of Jaemin’s action.

“I like you too, Injun.” Jaemin smiles, leaning in to rest his forehead on Renjun’s, their lips barely brushing against each other. Jaemin gently cups Renjun’s cheeks, his thumb caressing on his cheek softly as he whispers. “Can I kiss you again?”

Renjun could only nod his head in response as the younger’s lips fit perfectly with his. A burst of emotions explodes within his chest, loving the feeling of Jaemin’s soft and sweet lips on him. His arms, moving to their own accord, finding their way around Jaemin’s neck, making him lean forward to deepen the kiss.

Jaemin breaks away from their kiss, trying to relish the sight of pure bliss on Renjun’s face. He wants to remember this moment, wants to remember the exact time both of their hearts danced in the same beat that somehow translates into the words they can’t say, but they know what it means.

Renjun knows things are going to be different now, they’ve both established their relationship without much words needed. Just letting their hearts speak for themselves, and in the end they understood one another and that’s all that matters. Although one thing’s for sure, Renjun still hates horror films but he wouldn’t mind if he gets to spend the rest of his days in Jaemin’s warm embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> my twt: [ @actornjm ](https://www.twitter.com/actornjm)  
> pls be my friend and send me prompts to write <3


End file.
